How to give up an easy A on the last day of high school

Step 1. Do the opposite of what your Culinary Arts teacher tells you at the beginning of class.  Teacher, “if you get kicked out of class today, you’ll get a 0 on your lab assignment.”  

Step 2. Commence assignment which is cooking and presenting your gourmet burger which you are very proud of

Step 3. During clean up, you and your friend grab a couple of butcher knives

Step 4. Stand in front of the hallway window to maximize exposure

Step 5. Pretend to dramatically stab your friend. Extra points for theatrics

Step 6. Your teacher ignores you so…

Step 7. Rinse and repeat until you both get booted out of class

Step 8. Immediately run into your Lacrosse coach in hallway who inquires why you are not in class

Step 9. Explain that your teacher kicked you out for “nothing serious, you were just messing around.”

Step 10. Come home before your next class in a bit of a panic about what might happen next

Step 11. Return to take another final exam, then text your mom asking if the school has called

Step 12. Take your coach and parent’s advice and seek out teacher after school to apologize again

Step 13. Experience intense relief that when she called the office about mock stabbing that they left it up to her on whether to pursue it. She did not

Step 14. Go back to step 1 and remember you are getting a 0 which drops your grade to a B

Step 15. Pretend that you don’t care because ever since you were accepted into college your mantra has been, “All I need to do is graduate.”


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