A New Hope

           It has been one week at CSU for the new college student, so we dare not celebrate prematurely. We have several promising developments. First, and I mean it is the first time ever, he has set an alarm and drug himself out of bed for two of the three days of 8am classes. Considering his summer vampire schedule, it is an incredible feat to see this human-being emerge from his coffin. I feel compelled to sprinkle holy water, grab a crucifix and chew on a garlic clove in support of this transformation.          

            You may be wondering why it took until college for this new alarm clock muscle to flex. Was it us, him? My response is there is virtually nothing you can force upon an oppositional defiant, professional procrastinator. Every change he makes must be his idea and on his timeline. Crying, pleading, threatening, bribing and natural consequences do not move the needle. We have driven ourselves mad for years trying to grapple with why we still argue about brushing your teeth, setting your alarm, turning assignments in on time, putting dirty clothes in the laundry room (we’ll even wash the @#$@##$# clothes). Little brother has watched and learned. He’s up at 6am, showering and pestering dad to hurry, so he can get to school early to hang out with friends. Can I get a hallelujah!

            This past week’s communication has centered around when will his car be fixed and can he buy, not one, but two pair of sneakers? Us responding with “in a few weeks, no and why is there a Tinder charge on dad’s credit card?” The other slight, but meaningful change is hearing him talk about how he doesn’t want to deposit his last paycheck, so he won’t spend it and that he’s going to get a job after he’s settled with school. All contradicted by his comment of “just take the $8 out of my account for the Tinder charge.” Why does any guy living in a co-ed dorm need a dating app? Based on the endless stream of girls wearing Lululemon yoga tights and half tops rotating through our basement during high school, there doesn’t appear to be a supply chain issue.

            Now for the piece de resistance of the story. Every year the high school gives students a planner. Every year he either lost it or tossed it in the trash within the first week. Never a note taken or a serious thought of using this powerful tool. With teary eyes, I would like to report that today I received a text video of him paging through his newly purchased CSU Planner including his class notes. His video was titled, “Peep dis shit.” My reply, “Omg..a planner in use. I’m so happy I could cry.”  His reply, “Shits tuff.”  For all my nerdy Star Wars friends and family, we have A New Hope of the Jedi variety.

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