Pop the Trunk

            Just when you think you’ve seen it all, a four-door sedan filled with teens pulls in front of your house on Saturday morning to drop off your kid who “spent the night at friends.” They spill out of the car like a bunch of clowns in a circus ring. Watching from the sliding glass door, I deduce this must have been a co-ed sleep over. Really? The story was it’s a smallish birthday party and his friend’s dad doesn’t care who crashes for the night. Interestingly, the co-ed aspect was glossed over. The lies of omission just keep piling up.

                As I continue watching curiously from inside the house, my teen pops the trunk. Now that seems odd. He didn’t take anything with him. All sorts of thoughts race through my mind in an instant. Maybe it’s left over beer from the evening debacle and he plans to store it in the garage fridge. Yup, he’s done that before. Like we aren’t going to see a 12-pack sitting next to the sparkling water and Capri Suns?

                Much to my shock, a lovely young girl with long dark hair jumps out of the trunk. Huh? Now, I’ve seen them pack more kids inside without enough seat belts, but this is an entirely new phenomenon. Clearly, they have no idea the potential risks of riding in the trunk. Legalities aside, what if there’s a rear-end collision? Even more horrifying is that this is not a new car. What if there’s something wrong with the exhaust system which leads to carbon monoxide poisoning? I remember being a teenage idiot, but certainly we had a better sense of self-preservation.

                When I asked my kid what’s up with the girl in the trunk? He simply replied, “she didn’t have a ride.” The solution seems simple enough in his mind. Nothing bad could possibly happen. It’s amazing how none of them can identify potential danger. His under-developed brain stem reasons that if nothing bad happened before, then nothing bad can happen in the future. “Just chill bruh.” These are the moments I yearn to fast-forward to the end of the teen parenting movie to see if it’s a happy ending.

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